62 things kisslit likes Explore more popular stuff on Tumblr →
-
Confession Time;
Sometimes I really miss her. I miss her laugh, and her smile, I’ll always remember it, my mind has a grasp on those little things, I couldn’t forget if I wanted to. But I miss being the reason behind it, I miss physically seeing her, or hearing how her day went, only sometimes though. During those times I miss it all, I miss having her in my life I really do.
But most of the times, I’m still hurt, I’m still shocked how drastically it was cut, and maybe I should be over it now, but it’s hard to be when someone rejects you for something that a) you can’t control and b) was known from the beginning. I know I’m an ass at times, but god damn no one is perfect. And every time a girl pops up that I think I can be happy with, and just have a good time with, there’s far too many complications, or it all just turns to shit.
Basically the gist of this is;
I miss her at times, and I loved her deeply, still do in a sense. I can’t deny that I miss watching the woman light up any and every room she entered, how amazing it felt to have her eyes on me, and that she’s still the only one I could see myself caring out a future with. At times, I just really wish things turned out differently, but the Universe has her reasons for everything, and I really shouldn’t doubt her.
Loading... -
All girls want that guy who will love them for who they are, yet inspires them to become a better person. Who will notice all your big and little flaws and still tell you you’re the most beautiful girl in the world. The guy that will not only make you feel like his girlfriend but also his best friend. The guy who will bring you to his family and be proud of. The guy who after being the reason of your tears will take the blame even if you were the one wrong. The guy who will carry you, kiss your forehead, makes sure you dnt forget he loves you, holds your hand and all that cute stuff. The thing is girls forget how to get that guy. Its easy. You receive what you give. If you give your all,your loyalty and SINCERE love to someone like that, its guaranteed its yours.that someone is already mine<3
Loading... -
My terrible yearlong relationship and how I'm the biggest bitch ever...
I was only with this person because I wanted something to do with my time. They liked me and I’m shallow enough to say that’s what attracted me, who doesn’t like the feeling of being liked?
I never had any intentions of being in a serious relationship with this person….ever. Eventually of course I did love them, but I was never in love with them. I was in love with the idea of loving someone and someone loving me back. The idea of having a “boyfriend” and me being someone’s “girlfriend”. I played the role well, I never cheated and I was pretty devoted.
From the beginning I told this person, “I could never really love you” but they were so infatuated with me that they were committed to changing my mind and I gave them the impression that maybe my mind could be changed. I was showered with gifts and love, I’m not stupid enough not to realize this was a GREAT human being. They just weren’t for me and I knew that would never change, ever. This person was committed and always discussed our future and I would lie and say, “Yeah I think we can have a future” knowing secretly I would NEVER have a future with this person. That’s wrong, I know.
I did get attached, I was willing to change everything about myself because I knew what THEY wanted me to be, WHO they deserved for me to be and I gave it serious thought. Eventually though, I knew I could never really change and I was so far gone and so many feelings were already invested that I was totally screwed either way. I knew before we got any more deep I had to break it off, but by that time this person had already become so intertwined in my life that it was just…hard to end things. I tried a couple of times, but we always got back together because I felt bad and I didn’t want this person to hurt.
But eventually, a year later, I ended it. I had to. I had to be honest to this person and honest to myself. And this person was hurt tremendously and it was all my fault and there really was nothing I could do about it but a half-assed promise that, “I really wasn’t the person for them” and “Eventually they would find someone who would love and accept them unconditionally.” Because that person would never be me.
It’s fucked up. You should never lead someone on. I never knew it would go so far I was sure after a few weeks it would be over, not a year. I will never lead someone on again and I’ll never put myself in that kind of situation.
I never told this person I could never truly accept them either because I was/am a coward. I just gave them a half-truth.
Hmmm
Loading... -
Fuck It.
I don’t care if you see ‘cause I just need to get all this damn stuff out of my mind. I shouldn’t care- this is my mantra. I was happy when you actually told me what was going on instead of brushing it off with a “don’t worry about it” like I can’t actually fucking tell when things are eating away at you. I listened and got angry, but you already knew that. Mostly it was at her. Some of it was me. Hell I shouldn’t care remember? The failing mantra of a failing mind. I think it’s because the word “love” was involved and it made my chest constrict because I want that. So, yeah, I want you to love me but we’ve seen how well that goes in the past. Did you know that you only ever told me that out loud twice? And each time it took my fucking breath away. I know it sounds dumb but it’s true. Once it completely stopped me from cutting you out of my life [like I could even really do that. Also been there and done that] I care too much… it’s my downfall. I care about you. I care about where your mind is at. I care about how you’re feeling. I care if you’re fucking breaking apart. And in the midst of that caring I listen to every word and try my best to help. Try my best not to wish some of those words you say were about me. Try my best not to think about the words “love” “care” and especially your name. ‘Cause fuck it all I care a whole damn lot because I still love you. Believe me I’ve rationalized it to hell and back and the general consensus is I shouldn’t, I really fucking shouldn’t, and it happens anyway. I can’t stop it. So don’t ask me not to worry about you because it isn’t going to stop any time soon. Just… just try to ignore me when [not if] I say something stupid. Because really I do want what’s best for you and I realized a while ago that despite what I want those words never will be for me, and thus I’m not what will make you happy.
But despite all that shit I’ll always try. I’ll always want to fix it and make it better- even when I know I can’t. I will always hope that maybe, one day, I might make you happy. I’ll make stupid jokes to try to get you to smile, and post lyrics and quotes that might combat you’re mood. I’ll talk to you whenever you need- even if it’s 1 o’clock in the fraggin’ morning. I’ll ignore you don’t need me because I want to be there for you. To support you, always. I know you’ll be fine, eventually, and thinks will be “ok” it’s just… I need to try.
Loading... -
I just want love...
This has been the loneliest summer ever :c .
If I had a boyfriend I’d have someone to share my feels with :cI have this weird need to want to be emotionally and mentally supportive to someone… I just feel bad if I dont have anyone to depend on me.
I know it sounds bad… but
I wanna feel needed :c
Loading...
